Resources
  

 

Annotated Book Reviews for Parents/Guardians
 
General Parenting Books

  • Carotta, Michael. (2002).  Nurturing the Spiritual Growth of Your Adolescent. Orlando, FL: Harcourt Religion Publishers.
    This welcome resource develops parental skills for use with teens, ages 12 and up.  This is a book for adults to "do" rather than to "read," and it proposes the engaging of the Catholic adolescent with the principles the Faith offers for good decision-making.  This resource can be used at home in daily parent-child interactions or for a series on parenting in the parish or school.  The book provides many questionnaires on a wide range of specific skills to nurture parent-teen relationships through intimate and honest communication.  A final section briefly reviews skills for maintaining a healthy presence and relationship in a teen's life.  The Catholic perspective in religious practice and moral outlook is assumed.
  • Doherty, William J. (2000).  Take Back Your Kids: Confident Parenting in Turbulent Times. 
    William Doherty’s excellent, though fairly short, volume is a must read for parents/guardian who find themselves battling the pressures of modern culture and the demands of children who want to follow the ‘popular,’ though not necessarily appropriate, path taken by their peers.  Based on the argument that, in our consumer culture, parents/guardian have become ‘parental service providers’ rather than true teachers, guides, and protectors of their children, Doherty shows how easily families can fall into the trap of letting external forces direct and control both themselves and their children.  The author discusses how parents/guardian can take a stand and regain their proper roles, thereby empowering their children to learn and live by such virtues as honor, respect, and responsibility to self and others.  He includes specific chapters for fathers, two-parent families, one-parent families, and step-families. 
  • Garcia-Prats, Catherine Musco & Joseph A., M.D. with Claire Cassidy, (1997). Good Families Don’t Just Happen. Adams Media Corp., www.adamsmedia.com, 1-800-872-5627. 
    This book, written by the parents of ten boys, is a marvelous general parenting book.  The husband is a pediatrician and the mother was an elementary teacher and the book reflects a strong, faith-filled marriage and a couple that has clear priorities for themselves and their sons. There are many common-sense reminders about communication, acceptance of each child’s uniqueness and the need for discussion before important decisions are made.  The authors believe children need and want guidelines and that parents/guardian should establish and enforce them.  The authors convey their 5 L’s of parenting: Love, Laughter, Liberty, Limits, Learning.  Faith is integrated throughout the book and every parent could find wisdom in this book.  “Successful parents do what unsuccessful parents are unwilling to do.” (JEF)
  • Saso, Patt & Steve, (1999).  10 Best Gifts for your Teen: Raising Teens with Love and Understanding.  Notre Dame: IN: Sorin Books,
    The Sasos share their experience as parents, as Catholic high school teachers, and as family counselors.  Their 10 gifts (each begins with “R”) are benefits for a lifetime, consolidated during the teens, developed through cultivation of strong relationships of parents with teens.  They treat relationship, respect, responsibility, consistent and resolute parenting, reconciliation, and the rest, practically and positively.  They suggest what to expect of teens, how to keep communications open and how to help the young test their budding intelligence in ways that support the transmission of a family’s values.  Written in a conversational style, they offer real language of parents and teens. 


 
Talking to Your Children about Sexuality

  • Aquilina, Mike (Ed.) (1995).  Talking to Youth About Sexuality: A Parent's Guide.  Huntington, IN: Our Sunday Visitor, 1-800-348-2440, http://www.osv.com/ 
    This is a practical brief text to assist parents/guardian, especially of pre-teens and teens.  Most of the material deals with preadolescent and adolescent issues, offering the questions of parents/guardian and of teens on sexual and cultural matters. sexual attitudes, sexual behavior, and the culture.  The general material introducing the Q-A sections lays a foundation for parents/guardian, called to be the first teachers of their own children in faith and morals.  The teen Question and Answer sections provide parents/guardian with material to answer common questions of young people
  • Kiser, Keith & Tami, (1996). The Incredible Gift! The Truth about Love and Sex. Huntington, IN: Our Sunday Visitor; 1-800-348-2440, http://www.osv.com/  
    This book is written by a youth minister and his wife for a teenage audience. Parents/guardian, however, might also find it useful because the authors' dating reminiscences might spark their own memories (good conversation starters with your own teenagers). The Kisers stay within the parameters of Catholic doctrine on sexuality and treat sexuality as an incredible gift that needs to be protected and cherished.  (BG)
  • Langford Laurie, (1998).  The Big Talk.  New York: Wiley & Sons
    The Big Talk is actually a number of small talks, to be given in the context of a trusting, open relationship.   The style is eminently readable, and she discusses a multitude of relevant topics.   Her emphasis is clearly on abstinence.  She repeatedly admonishes parents/guardian that they must develop (and she gives pointers on how to develop), even at a late date, an open and trusting relationship with their children that both transmits their values to their children without condemnation and preaching, and keeps these channels open as their children grow older.  She provides six keys for good communication: trust, respect, honesty, love, understanding, and family identity.  As practical advice, each chapter contains various techniques to be used to approach the various talks, including metaphors and games, plus role-playing exercises.  What is missing is a specifically Catholic/Christian viewpoint on sex, which would provide greater substance to her emphasis on the body as sacred.  
  • Lickona, Tom & Judy.  (1994). Sex, love & you. Making the right decision.  Notre Dame, IN., Ave Maria Press.
    This is an eminently readable text suitable for high school students and also for background for parents/guardian as they discuss human sexuality with their children.  Although not a specifically Catholic text, the book nonetheless affirms Church directions in many ways.  The writers, both parents/guardian, relate the topic to contemporary happenings and include many true stories and quotes from young people which heighten the relevancy.  The book provides statistics which could counter the “everybody’s doing it” line of argument and emphasizes that when adults talk with youngsters about this topic they should NOT be “long on information … but short on moral values…” (P. 25).  The section on abortion lists physical and psychological consequences and includes resources-with phone numbers-for agencies like Project Rachel, Birthright, etc.
  • Nixon, Joan Lowery, (1980).  Before You Were Born.  Huntington, IN: Our Sunday Visitor, 1-800-348-2440, http://www.osv.com/  
    =    This book is a “read along” book for primary children.  The artwork is beautiful and the text captures how much God loves each of us.  The text is poetic and the pictures are not realistic.  Highly recommended for home libraries. (JEF)
  • Shalit, Wendy, (1999).   A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue. New York: The Free Press
    Shalit has done young girls and women a great service by her advocacy of a return to the virtue of modesty.  It is not a dry academic tome, but a realistic portrayal of the condition of the experience of women after the sexual revolution and its jettisoning of traditional values, including modesty.  Its compelling evidence comes from the life experience of real women and the tragedies that have ensued. The author shows that modesty is what frees women from subjugation by protecting them from the behavior of men who would use and discard them.  The book suffers somewhat by not providing enough practical advice for implementing a return to modesty. 
  • West, Christopher, (2000).  Good News about Sex and Marriage: Answers to Your Honest Questions about Catholic Teaching.  Ann Arbor, MI: Charis Books, Servant Publications
    The author tackles big questions about marriage, human sexuality inside and outside of marriage, chastity, reproduction, and contemporary issues in very accessible style for all readers.  His perspective is Pope John Paul II’s theology of the body, a teaching at once surprising and positive, and deep, a counterpoint to the culture’s attitudes concerning sex.  Parents/guardian will find the underlying reasons for the Church’s teachings on sexuality and marriage, along with a spiritual approach that strengthens their ability to hand on this tradition positively, accurately and faithfully to their own children.  The use of a question-answer format for much of the book enhances its usability. 
  • Wilson, Mercedes Arzu, (1996). Love and Family-Raising a Traditional Family in a Secular World. San Francisco, CA: Ignatius Press. http://www.ignatius.com/index.htm  (800) 651-1531
    This is a powerful resource to help parents give their children a healthy respect for and understanding of human sexuality.  This includes all its inherent responsibilities and potentials, while debunking many of the popular myths and misrepresentations about extra-marital sexual activity, contraception, abortion, and population issues.  Well written and well documented, with extensive quotations from a variety of religious and secular sources, this book is both empowering and disturbing.  This should be part of any parish’s Family Issues library, and is suited for parents/guardian of near-adolescent or teenage children.  I would also recommend this book for teenagers themselves.  Portions of the book are directed specifically at them, correcting the misinformation carried in the popular media about sexuality, contraception, etc.


Family Faith

  • Calvey, Phyllis (2000).  Keepers of the Light: A Parents’ Guide to Passing on Your Faith-Liguori, MO: Liguori Publications. http://www.liguori.org/home.htm  800-325-9521
    The main handbook in the series, Keepers of the Light, combines anecdotes, discussion starters, and Christian principles to form practical guidelines for parents/guardian to revitalize family faith around the dinner table and ignite a family reformation in our society.  Supplementary booklets deal with specific scriptural questions as they pertain to families.  Timely, prophetic, and certainly cutting-edge, Liguori Lighthouse is a clarion call to families today to carry on their faith traditions and build healthy, happy homes in the spirit of Christ.”  The stories include sacramental preparation, virtue and other topics.  None directly addresses sexuality education. 
  • Ghezzi, Bert, (1989). Keeping Your Kids Catholic: It may seem impossible but it can be done. Ann Arbor, MI: Servant Publications (734) 677-6490
    This is an excellent book containing a collection of thoughtful, witty articles focused on different elements of family life and practice.  Its contributors recognize the real challenges faced by parents/guardian trying to make and keep their children faithful and faith-filled in a secular world and offer solid, useful suggestions while reassuring their readers that mistakes along the way are to be expected and may be overcome.  The book is divided into ten sections, each containing a trio of short articles related to such topics as “Making your Home Catholic,” “Keeping Teenagers Close to Christ,” and “Training Kids in Catholic Morality,” and closing with items for reflection, discussion, and directions for action, as well as a short bibliography.  This book is appropriate for all parents/guardian with children from toddler to teen

Church Teaching on Sexuality

  • Lawler, Ronald, Joseph Boyle, Jr., and William E. May (1998).  Catholic Sexual Ethics: A Summary, Explanation, & Defense, 2nd ed. 
    This volume is an important resource for those wishing to investigate weightier theological and philosophical arguments behind Catholic teaching on sexuality.  Often used as a college text, it offers well-argued, thorough explanations of the Church’s teaching on sex, development of this teaching in the Bible and Christian Tradition, and recent Magisterial teaching.  It also covers such essential topics as formation of conscience and errors of popular philosophical trends in contemporary theology.   Although not a quick read, it is a valuable resource for those who want to do delve into their faith and the rationale behind it.
  • Pontifical Council for the Family, (1996). The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality-Guidelines for Education within the Family. Boston, MA: Pauline Books & Media
    This booklet clearly sets forth the responsibilities of parents/guardian to educate and form their children in the true meaning of sexuality according to the teachings of the Church.  Building on the Church’s traditional teaching about the grace of the parenting vocation, the Council for the Family states that the rights and duties of parents/guardian to educate their children are essential, original and primary, and irreplaceable and inalienable.  Guidelines for different age groups are provided and multiple times, the booklet states that the parent is in the best position to know when a child is ready (or not ready) to receive information about genital sexuality.  The booklet discusses the “paths of formation within the family” and lists the following: importance of affective atmosphere in the home, importance of parents/guardian taking time for their children, the modeling of “self-giving love,” importance of moderate and critical use of the media, importance of self-control, importance of the home as a sanctuary of life and faith.  (JEF)

Families and Issues from our Culture

  • Medved, Michael & Diane (1998).  Saving Childhood.  New York, NY: Harper Perennial Press
    Saving Childhood is an indispensable resource for parents in protecting their children against the multi-faceted assaults by modern-day culture.  The book is a pro-active tool to help parents guide their children so that they can maintain their integrity in the face of contemporary culture.  The first half of the book is an alarming, but necessary, analysis of the dangerous elements in our culture, to which both parents and children are exposed, and a critical analysis of the “common wisdom” of our culture.  The second half focuses on helping parents create a healthy atmosphere of true childhood innocence.  The tools with which to equip your children are: (1) a sense of wonder; (2) a sense of security; (3) and a sense of optimism.  This half is a balanced treatment of what parents can do for their children, combining an explanation of what these terms mean and why they are important for your children, but also the practical advise necessary to implement them in your house.  With this book, parents can bring to their children one of life’s most precious gifts: a healthy, optimistic, and secure upbringing—that is, a solid foundation upon which to build a life pleasing to parents and God. 
  • Spitzer, Rev. Robert S.J. et al, (2000).  Healing the Culture.  San Francisco, CA: Ignatius Press
    Fr. Spitzer examines suffering, success, ethics, and freedom through the prism of the “four levels of happiness”.  These levels are those of instant gratification, personal achievement, love and contribution, and the desire for God.  He takes us through each of these levels and demonstrates where true happiness is to be found and practical ways in which to move us toward this ultimate happiness.  The book provides the psychological and theological underpinning which help determine how one views sex, marriage, and family.  Sexuality is discussed in the context of self-worth, love, and happiness.  This is an enormously important book, both on the philosophical and practical level, though wading through its pages remains a daunting task.

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